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Godzilla Versus King Kong. All I have to say about that movie is one simple word: BULLSHIT!!! How in the name
of all that is good in this world did they let a 100 story tall radioactive firebreathing (and by that i mean he breathes
radioactive fire not just he's a radioactive monster, which he is) monster who has on numerous occasions destroyed Tokyo as
well as defeated other horrible radioactive monsters not to mention defeated the combined military forces of Japan, America,
and fucking aliens, Aliens man, aliens, get beaten by a big monkey? It does not make sense! King Kong got taken out by like
three freakin planes and a dumb blonde! Who in the world would think something that fuckin pathetic could take on and BEAT
Godzilla? Let's see three headed, gravity beam spitting, flying dragon or a big monkey. Why did someone think king Kong would
be tougher than King Ghidora
Let's list some of the advatages Godzilla has over the King Kong:
1. Radioactive
Fire. This ones a biggie folks. Cause let's face it, it don't matter how much poop King Kong can throw if he's being flame-broiled.
2. Fucking scales man, Godzilla's skin is like freaking armor plating.
3. Rocket Propulsion. Godzilla can use
his fire to propel himself much like a rocket enabling him to fly.
4. Super fast healing, come one we've all seen Godzilla
get hurt bad and then come back to whoop ass. That's because he as something call the G-factor, which enables his cells to
repair themselves incredibly quickly, much like Wolverine.
5. He's a freaking radioactive monster.
6. He can
hold his breath for many hours and swim entire oceans.
7. He eats fucking plutonium.
8. Worst case scenario
he can call down lightning to restart his fucking heart.
9. He's a goddamn radioactive monster, alright.
10.
Sharp teeth, because he is carnivorous.
11. He's strong enough to causally stroll through re-inforced concrete
12.
Tail slap attack.
13. He is a freaking radioactive monster, I cannot stress how much this is true. He is cooler
just by this one fact alone.
14. He knows how to land a fall.
15. It takes a freaking volcano to stop Godzilla.
Now
lets cover some of the advantages King Kong has:
1. Opposable thumbs, whoopty fuckin do.
2. That's it, just
the thumbs.
3. Oh sure in the movie they say King Kong was strengthened by electricity and Godzilla was weakened. But
come on, i saw King Kong and that sooo wasn't in there. And Anybody who saw Godzilla vs. Mecha-Godziila clearly saw Godzilla
use lightning, electricity, to turn himself into a freaking magnet. Or Godzilla 1985 where he gets hit by lightning to restart
his heart.
There can be only explanation, Godzilla threw the fight. My personal opinion is that King Ghidora had baby
Godzilla as a hostage and would kill him unless Godzilla threw the fight. King Ghidora probably had bets riding on King Kong
since the odds would have been incredible. And Godzilla could have taken King Ghidora but didn't want to risk his son getting
hurt, but as sonn as he got him back Godzilla probably beat the crap outta Ghidora and him and Son of Godzilla the n took
turns roasting the three headed, gravity beam spitting fucker alive. And using the fucker's own tail to ass rape him.
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