Dinner is a non-occurrence in my life.

How can the people at Fox News claim to be fair and balanced with a straight face?

There was a druid in our party in my D&D group. He had a Dire Badger as his animal companion. The sad thing was, in the same party was a Troll Fighter who was dual-wielding keen greatswords, and the badger was kicking more ass than the Troll. The moral of the story is: Badger > Troll.

My shorts keep riding up on me while I sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night for the eigth time, and I was so groggy that it actually seemed a good idea to safety-pin them to my legs to keep them from riding up again. Luckily I have no safety pins.

How many Hobbits could you fit into a Volkswagon Beetle?

Swaggle is my new favorite word. I saw it on Stripcreator. I don't know what it means or even if it's a real word, but it's my new favorite word and I am going to use it as soon as I find a use for it.

I need to find a job where I get paid to sit on my ass and do nothing.

Sex is like cigarettes. It's addictive and people are getting hooked at younger and younger ages nowadays. But there's no cancer risk with sex. Although if there was there wouldn't be a problem with overpopulation. But I bet condoms would be 100% effective.

I really, REALLY want a Vanilla Coke right now.

Webcomics are my Chicken Soup for the Soul.

If cleanliness is next to godliness, then conversely being dirty is next to demonism. If that's the case, I should have some sort of demonic powers by virtue of the state of my living area over here.

I can only imagine the horrors that lie in store for me when I return home to the evil incarnate that is my cat.

I want to get a pet rat. I will name him Ulrich and I will teach him tricks and we will be the bestest of friends. And I will build a tiny airplane for him and he will learn to fly it and be the first rat to fly around the world. Or not.

I will never again name anything Bob.

I really hate goats.

I have no less than ten videogames grabbed from the bargain bin at the PX that I am taking home to my little brother.

I really miss playing my old Nintendo.

My feet hurt like hell. I hate filing, because I end up standing for hours on end.

 

Why are you still reading?  Go do something productive!